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4 Stupid Things People Do on Their Facebook Profiles

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Facebook is the most popular social networking site, and therefore one of the most agonizing to look around on–bad habits get started, and they don’t get stopped. Here are four things that people do on their Facebook profiles that are unnecessary and completely irritating.

  1. Joining Groups with A Member Goal. So what you’re telling me is that some dude named Jason is going to name his child Thor if this group gets 10,000 members? Why the hell would he do that? Why are you inviting me to help him? When I see that someone has joined a Facebook group with a member goal, my opinion of them immediately drops. Not that they should care, because I’m an egotistical prick, but I’m not alone in this–anyone who wants 5,000,000 People To Join This Group To Convince Facebook To Ban Fratboys is probably a person in the last stages of syphilis.
  2. Bad grammar on the Facebook status. Now that Facebook has made it so that you can get rid of the “is”, there’s no excuse for having a Facebook status like “Joel Smith is Yes we can” unless you’re clinically retarded. Seriously, it takes maybe half a second to come up with a sentence that is at least readable and double check it–and that way, I don’t have to read that “Jill Chambers is is tired from jogging”.
  3. That bumper sticker thing. What the hell is it? It might be a fun little application if it actually showed anything resembling bumper stickers, but as far as I can tell it’s just a thing that posts pictures on peoples’ profiles. But we already have that–it’s called “pictures.” Why the hell would you recreate that and rename it “bumper stickers?” There’s obviously something incredibly different about the two that I’m missing. Does one cost money? I’m completely lost on the bumper sticker thing.
  4. Complaining About The New Facebook. This is the most annoying thing that you can do on Facebook, whether you’re joining a group, hosting an “event,” or just writing a note about how much the new features piss you off. The thing is, the new Facebook is almost exactly like the old Facebook. The major difference is that things are easier to find. When you complain about how much the new Facebook pisses you off, you sound like an old person complaining about how your spouse moved the couch and now the TV glares; there is no glare, just like there is nothing particularly bad about updating a five year old website.